A gift from England

Klick here and here to watch!

Visit at Grandmas

Dont know whats wrong with me or why I suddenly have anxiety again. Might be because Ive been eating sugar, rice, potatoes etc this last week. I am a sugar junkie after all and it does effect my temper. Tomorrow its strict LCHF diet again. No more birhday cakes or other stupid things!

We went to Grandma yesterday afternoon. James was so exited to see her and ran around like a maniac. Grandma bought him a Hello Kitty drawing book and some pens. He got even more exited then and very happy!

 While Paul and Grandma stayed home with James I went to the shop to buy us a nice dinner. Sture fry and noodels, with ginger, lime and chili. Bought some ice cream for dessert aswell! It was jummy jummy! Grandma loved the food, so we will cook it again when we visit her.

I had to take some anxiety pills last night so that I could sleep and today I am like a zombie. Havent taken them for a long time now and I got a bit chocked when I felt the extreme tiredness this morning. It feels like I am draging my body around. Been sleeping most of the morning after I left James at Day Care. I do understand now why I was so tired all the time before. I used to have to eat maximal dose everyday. Talk about zombie. Well they did help though, you cant expect things to be perfect at once when you are very ill.

Going to the taxoffice now to fix some paper for Pauls migration thing. Need to copy my passport and get another paper aswell. Then Im going to buy food and some other stuff. Hopefully the dishes will be done when I come home. I think I will cry otherwhise?! Of tiredness that is :) Pauls done washing all morning and will go and get James from Day Care soon. Team work!!

This afternoon James best friend and his mum is coming over. I hope I will be awake!

One of those days....

Im not feeling good today... At all. Im feeling totally useless and angry and sad. It feels like I am stuck and the way to my goals seems extra long today. I am listening to Coldplay, stupid really, it doesnt make anything better when you feel like this. Some Nirvana would be better.... Will change music.

I have to much to think about. Stupid papers from migration office, appartment that needs to be fixed, nightmares every night that makes me tired and down. I am enoyed with Paul and I dont know why. Its like I am a big needy baby and I want him to fix me but he cant because I dont know what I want. Hate it, I want to go to bed and hide, but I wont because it wont make it any better.

I want to scream and shout and hit something. Or have a car so that I can drive, listen to loud music and scream and cry. I want to be left alone but I dont want to at the same time.

I am frustrated like hell.

At the gorgeous lake

We went to a lake to feed some birds the other day. This lake is so beautiful and peaceful. When we went through our hardest time last year when Paul was so sick I used to come here every day to get my anger and frustration out. I got much strength from this lake, the trees and fresh air.

Who are we without him?

James went to his Day Care teacher yesterday afternoon for a sleep over. It was the second child free night for us since he was born. It felt so wierd. I felt a sort of panic and frustration because I wanted something extremly special to happen? It almost ruined our evening but we decided to stay in, watch Star Trek and drink some red wine. Amazing really. To be able to do that in peace without getting interrupted, to spend time with your favourite person without beeing a mom or a dad. I think we felt like that because were not use to James beeing away. Were not use to be just us anymore and who are we anyway without him? Its kind of funny really how your brain function when your a parent. I missed him so much last night, I even felt a little sad?! I even dreamt that he got kidnapped?! But today, in the afternoon when I was a bit tired and just wanted to sit and relax I wished that he were in Day Care, just for a few hours so that I could have some peace?! Wierd ha?

We are very grateful to have so much support from James Day Care teachers. They are amazing. They always ask us how we are. They do care which is very nice, it is nice to have their support. James loves them so much and it makes us very happy. I trust them to take care of the most precious person and I am never worried.

Well so anyway. Paul and I had a nice evening, we had bolognese and apple crumble with ice cream and of course some red wine. After the lovely dinner we cuddled up in our sofa and watched Star Trek. Yes that is what we do, watch Star Trek and so should you :D

Went to get James around lunch time today and went home to have a relaxing day. Our friend Angelica and her daughter came over for some apple crumble and a chat. Thats todays adventures. Oh, James and I painted James nails with some nail polish aswell ( he loves it soooooo much) and yes we watched some Star Trek aswell ( Paul has Asperger syndrome after all, he needs his rutines, no not really :) its just a great serie! Watch it!).

Yes I know... He needs to clean his room, I tell him all the time but he never listen :D

James and his stick

Paul found a very large stick on the way home from Day Care a couple of days ago. James thought it was the funniest thing he ever seen and refused to let it go!

Heres two movies to watch aswell!

1 & 2

Happy birthday to me!

Right... I need to start writing down what I am planning to publish here because I am so busy all the time! It is a sign, a sign that tells me that I am feeling good! Well enough about that for now! I have to tell you about my birthday and other stuff!

First of all this is some pics from last Friday when James and I went to Agge to hang out. James finds all their things very interesting and I decided that hes not allowed to come with me to Agge anymore! All I did was running around after him :D

On Saturday my dear friend Pernilla came here to take me out for lunch as a birthday gift :D It was so lovely to see her again, its been almost a year since last time! We walked around in the sunshine, looked in flower shops, talked and went to Cafe Cava for lunch. I had a big bow in my hair, a polka dot dress and gold glitter nailpolish, yes I might be an alien?!

Paul was home with James all day for the first time and it went great ( as I new it would!), so now I am free to do what ever I want muhahahahaha :D

 

I got these stunning Ted Baker earrings from Paul on my birthday, I LOVE THEM! Almost as much as I love him! So yes he did a great job with my gift.

 Paul took me out for pizza on my birthday, we shared a Bombay pizza which turned out to be very spicy :D Thats why we look so funny in the pics!

 

 In the afternoon my mom came with birthday muffins and cakes. First time in years I celibrate my birthday with my mom, felt so nice! The cakes and muffins helped me to fill out my new wrinkles! Thanks mom! 

Thats all for today! Tomorrow I will publish a movie and show you some more birthday gifts!

A busy weekend!

What a busy weekend! James and I went to my friend Agge on Friday night. James was running around like a maniac all evening so at nine I decided to go home. I was worn out! Otherwise it was a nice night, we had pizza and watched Idol.

On Saturday Pernilla came here all the way from Torup to take me out for lunch as a birthday gift. Paul stayed home with James all day. It was amazing to go to the city on my own with a friend and not have to think about anything! Pernilla and I had a big lovely lunch at Cafe Cava, we could barrely walk because we were so stuffed afterwards. It was sunny and beautiful weather, everything was perfect!

I was very happy to come home and hear that everything went great, Paul havent had James a whole day before. Its amazing to see how much that actually happened in just one year. Last year at this time Paul was practising to just go outside the door, short five minutes walks before the anxiety got to hard to handle and we had to go in again. What an amazing job we have done. It was only one year ago, I cant believe it...

On Sunday we where both much tired! So we had a calm day. James and I went out to play with some friends and later they joined us home for some tea. I went to bed at nine in the evening hoping to get som sleep, got a little, think I am going back to bed for a while again though! James is finally back in Day Care, so now is my chance :)

James on his way to Agge.

 

On the tram, James is talking about all the different colors he has on his nailpolish.

 

A giant egg?!

Friday morning

We spent the whole day inside yesterday, tried to rest some and got some energy back! Its lovely to be able to rest and feel rested afterwards. Its been a while since I was able to do that. Seems like I got a bit of spare energy. I will do my best to keep that now.

Paul did all our laundry and dishes and James and I dusted and hoovered. The week after next week we will start with a big autumn cleaning, scrub all the walls in the kitchen, organize in all the cubards etc. Go with all cardboard and rubbish we collected during the past year. I also want to get our guest room tidy and ready for guests, its more a storrage right now.

Going to color my hair again today, Paul is taking James out so I can do it in peace.

Tonight I am going to my friend Agge for a girls night, James is coming to. Going to be nice, we will buy some nice food and relax, well I will have to run after James until he falls asleep, they have many interesting things in their flat that he can destroy :) Paul will be home and have some nice quiet time, he needs that after this wild week, its never quiet when you hanve a chimpans in your house! :D

Oh! Paul and I watched Star Trek 4 last night, what a funny movie! Laughed my head off. As I said before I LOVE Star Trek! If you havent watched the first series and the movies, please do!

Well this is all for now... Have a little boy next to me talking nonstop so its a bit hard to write...

Photographer Eva Johansson

Can you cure a cold with glitter nailpolish?

Hm... Would love if this stupid cold would be over now! Would also love if James day care staff would be back because Im pretty tired now, would need a bit of rest! But what can you do?
Ive painted my nails with gold glitter nailpolish, think it might help me to get better from my cold?

I do not have anything more to say right this moment, almost falling asleep... But I did promise you a video of James singing and I did manage to catch some of it :)

You can listen and watch him here!

Heres some pics from yesterday

Ooo... Little gorgeous chimpans :D

Dear Rob and Lyn

Dear Rob and Lyn,

Please go on Skype or call us when you see this!
We need to ask you something ( nothing bad).

Love

Lisa and Paul x x x x x

Our helpful chimpans

Had an okey day yesterday, I ignored that I was sick and did a little house work in the morning. In the early afternoon I went out with James to do some shopping and to get a bit of sunshine. It was so beautiful outside. Poor Paul was still feeling bad, so he had to rest all afternoon.

James is talking, well singing all the time now. Its wonderful to listen to him and hes so cute. When I was doing the dishes in the morning he went into the living room an picked up Pauls plate that was left on the table after his breakfast and gave it to me. Hes very helpful. Its nice now because you can ask him to get stuff for you or ask him to put his toys back in his room. He asks about things non stop all day, whats that? Whats that? Whats that? Mummy! Mummy! Mummy! Daddy! Daddy! Whats that? You get a bit tired when hes home all day, at least when were sick! Quiet doesnt excist anymore!

In the evening Paul and I watched the third Star Trek movie. I cant wait to see the next one! I love Star Trek so much. Yes I am a nerd, I know :D I even cried in the end....

Todays to do list is to try to rest as much as possible. Its a bit hard to do when James is home all day ( day care doesnt have enough staff right now so hes home) but hopefully well soon feel better!

This is James doing his first artwork of the day, when I asked him what it was he said dadda and momo ( daddy and great grandma).

I will try to record his singing today so that you can listen to it tommorow :)

The angry look!

Picked up James earlier from day care yesterday because they are short of staff, everyone is ill. Went in to the city to buy some material for James birthday invitations. Going to prepare them today with James, he loves drawing so he will enjoy it big time! In the afternoon James best friend and his mum came over for a play date. Poor Paul was in bed all day with fever.

Today we all woke up with a cold, borring! So today were going to have a calm day, hopefully we will be better quick!

Heres som pics from yesterday!

James was pissed off with me and gave me his scary angry look :D I tried to explain to him that he have to sit in his pram when were going on the tram, think he got it after a while.

A great weekend

Had a great weekend! Paul went to a friend to watch fotball on Saturday and I invited some of my friends for a mum and kid dinner. It was a bit of a crazy afternoon with five mums and six children in our flat, but we had a great time. We ate tacos and talked about things that mums talks about. I wanted to get all mums together so that we could plan fun things and get together more often.

I spoke to Pauls mum for a little while and it was so nice. Wish they lived here so that I didnt have to miss her so much...

On Sunday Paul had a movie day and James and I went out on the playground to chat and play with friends. Went home to my friend for lunch, she lended us some clothes for James and I got to cuddle with her 2 month old daughter. Its very nice to just be able to borrow a baby a little for a cuddle and then return it when ever you want. Cheeky!

I got great news from my aunt. Her husband been through a brain surgary, they thought that he wouldnt survive, but everything went perfectly and he will get well again. Miracles does happen!

Paul and I had a movie night, we watched the second Star Trek movie and had red wine that one of my friends brought us on the mum and kid dinner. I am a proper Star Trek fan now. Cried two times during the movie, my favourite character Mr Spock died. I was so upset! But then I realized that he is in the movies after this one and felt a bit better! What would Star Trek be without Mr Spock..??

Well that was our weekend, have to get ready to go and get James from day care soon!

See you tomorrow!

Hello again!

Really needed a break to think, thats why I been gone for a while. My head feels sorted now and I know what to do with things. It feels great and I have more energy than in a very long time. Its funny how much you can change with just your thoughts.

I am looking forward to this autumn now, I am not scared like I was before. It feels like Ive choosen the right path and Paul is by my side. We will reach our goals together, we always do. I will tell you more about our plans later, when I have all the facts.

James is not sick right now, its very nice! He gets to spend his time in day care and we get some time to do things and just be us. You become a much better parent if you are able to just be you for a little while everyday.

Well, have to go now. Busy woman today, its Pauls birthday tomorrow and I promised him to make lemon curd tarts! Never done that before erhm... But I bet they will be delicous!

Our everything

Photographer Eva Johansson

A monkey and a suitcase

Photographer Eva Johansson

Hi peeps!

I am so sorry that I havent written here for almost two days, you must be so curious about whats going on in my life now! Well, were sick! Well, James is, which means no sleep for me and bad sleep for Paul. So thats why I havent been publishing any posts. Feels like I have jelly in my head. So this is all you get today I am afraid, but I promise to write as soon as possible! Hopefully tomorrow, have a lot to tell you! xoxo

In the sandpit